This topic continues to surface in my community, through one-on-one sessions, group circles, and conversations with people who are navigating their own process of becoming more conscious.
There are certain shifts that happen when we begin to live with more awareness. Our relationship with ourselves changes. Our relationship with our surroundings changes. And sometimes, the things that once felt familiar no longer feel aligned.
I wanted to explore this seeing so many people wonder if what they’re experiencing is normal.
I’m using alcohol as the example in this conversation simply because it’s the one that comes up most often. However, the same reflections can apply to many things we use to disconnect from ourselves — substances, distractions, overworking, constant stimulation, scrolling, checking out, and many other ways we seek relief or escape.
There are many layers to what people often experience when they begin living with more awareness. I’d describe it as a shift in resonance, nervous system state, and relationship to presence.
When someone begins to awaken, whether through meditation, yoga, therapy, recovery, spiritual practice, a health crisis, grief, or simply a deep desire to live more consciously, they often begin removing the things that have helped them disconnect from themselves. Alcohol, substances, constant stimulation, overworking, scrolling, people-pleasing, and other forms of numbing can all serve a purpose at one point: they help us avoid discomfort, soften emotions, or create temporary relief.
But as someone becomes more present and conscious, their sensitivity often increases. They start noticing subtler things: the sensations in their body, their emotions, the quality of their thoughts, the environments they enter, and how certain experiences affect them afterward.
Alcohol is interesting because it doesn’t just change behavior; it changes consciousness. It lowers inhibitions, alters perception, impacts the nervous system, and often creates a different social atmosphere. A person who has spent years learning how to regulate their nervous system, listen inwardly, and stay connected to themselves may begin to experience that altered state as disruptive rather than enjoyable.
It can feel like walking into a room where everyone is speaking a language you used to speak fluently – but you no longer want to have that conversation.
There’s also an energetic component. In many spiritual traditions, we talk about energy, vibration, or frequency. Whether someone understands that literally or metaphorically, the experience is often this: we become more aware of what environments bring us closer to ourselves and what environments pull us away from ourselves.
A person who is choosing and cultivating clarity may notice:
- conversations feel more superficial when people are intoxicated
- the room feels less grounded
- they leave feeling drained rather than nourished
- they no longer enjoy witnessing people abandon their own awareness
And this can be confusing because they may still love these people deeply. Here’s where I like to remind people, this isn’t about judgment. It’s not “I’m evolved and you’re not.” It’s more like: “My body and my spirit no longer feel at home in this particular environment.”
I sometimes use the analogy of food. Someone who begins eating very clean may not hate pizza. They may still appreciate pizza. But if they’ve changed how they nourish themselves, they may notice that eating certain foods no longer feels good in their body. Or simply put, their body now rejects it. The same can happen socially and energetically.
There’s also a grief component. Awakening often requires letting go of old identities and old communities. Many friendships are built around shared rituals: drinking together, partying together, complaining together, staying busy together. When one person changes, the relationship has to find a new way of connecting. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t.
The deeper invitation is not to reject others, but to become more discerning. To honor another person’s path while remaining devoted to our own
That’s often the maturity that comes with awakening – compassion without abandoning yourself.
In yoga philosophy, you might connect this to sattva, a quality of clarity, balance, and harmony. As someone cultivates more sattva, they tend to naturally gravitate toward experiences that support that state. Not because other experiences are “bad,” but because they no longer align with where they are choosing to place their energy.
The beautiful part is that this doesn’t have to create separation. A person can honor another’s path while honoring their own. The question becomes less “Who is right?” and more “What helps me remain connected to my own awareness?”